My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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