So drunk its hurt
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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