hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
