I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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