she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
