Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
