I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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