I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
