Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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