Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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