Screwed.edu
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
