They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
