I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
