why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
