You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Still dying that you shit outside
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
