ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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