i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
