She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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