a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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