So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
