So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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