So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
