if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
