No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
