I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
