they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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