I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
