I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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