Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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