too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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