im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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