I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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