My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
