fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
