This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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