You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it hurts more in the daytime
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
