it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
