Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
