I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
