At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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