You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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