I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
