we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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