why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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