gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
