They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
