also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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