Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
