girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Text me some of your sweat
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
