My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
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I need to wash the frat house off of me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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