Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
