ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize