Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
