After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i've created a new STD.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
