You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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