Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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