he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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