We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
